Friday, March 31, 2006

Chuck Norris fears no man! Only women.

So I got to the top of the yoke of my hourglass sweater last night, counted the raglan-sleeve stitches, and realized that one sleeve has like 16 stitches and the other has 23. I tried it on. It doesn't look bad. I am torn between ripping back and spending more hours (and more tears! WHY, GOD?) on it, and completing it and attempting to forget that I've got an uneven sweater. I'm leaning toward completing it.

In other news, my sister Katie directed me to a page that has raised my awareness of a serious problem facing America's youth today: admiration of Chuck Norris. This admiration is harmful and corrosive to the spirit, even if intended ironically. I found the following anti-Chuck Norris facts so convincing that I've renounced the watching of the occasional Conan O'Brien "Walker Texas Ranger" clip, however humorous I may previously have found them.

Chuck Norris fears the Care Bears, especially No Heart.

Chuck Norris listens to Fall Out Boy and cries.

Uncle Jesse's mullet once won a knife fight against Chuck Norris. Uncle Jesse's mullet didn't have a knife.

Stephen Hawking once beat Chuck Norris in a foot race.

Many stuntmen who have worked with Chuck Norris complain on set that Chuck Norris makes far too many so-called jokes about "exchanging blows."

Chuck Norris was once invited back to his high school to speak at a graduation. Upon his arrival, Screech, Slater, Kelly, Lisa, and Jesse said, "That's not Zack Morris, that's Chuck Norris!" Mr. Belding broke the bad news to the class that Zack would not be attending the graduation, then delivered a roundhouse kick to Chuck Norris and sent him to detention.

2 comments:

littlehedgehog said...

I kind of fear the care bears too. And I'd totally just ignore the difference in stitches. It's not a mistake it's a "design feature" - we can call it "asymmetrical"

PoMo said...

You're too funny!