kick out the jams

People, we have strawberry jam. Repeat, we have HOMEMADE strawberry jam. Twenty-seven jars of it. Beautiful, beautiful jam.

I was at work and didn't get to help, but my sister Katie and my mom did some serious jamification, and I will now be reaping all the benefit. PB&J every day. Awwww yeah.

indecision! help.

So I went to the craft store to get the summer Interweave because I was lusting for the Apres-surf Hoodie (which some people on ravelry keep hilariously insisting must be made of cotton, because wool at the beach just doesn't make sense, as if one can't decide that it's going to be one's apres-snowboard or apres-apple-picking or apres-cherry-blossom-party hoodie instead), and I ended up bringing home some plain old Lion Brand Fisherman's Wool in Nature's Brown with me. Because in addition to lace, I also am suddenly really into natural (or at least natural-looking) wool and simplicity and am craving a simple raglan that, once knit, I don't know how I ever lived without. I blame Elizabeth Zimmerman. Well, also, I must blame the yarn choices in my last two projects--my dad's Illini socks in very, very contrasting orange and navy and my finals socks in very, very bright pink and green. Good colors, lovely yarn, but damn, my eyes are tired. I want some lovely natural brown.

Anyway, I am now torn between two basic concepts for my plain jane brown sweater. Either something like Knitty's BPT (possibly with buttons instead, since I feel about zipper insertion the same way I feel about seaming, i.e., very very negatively) or something like knittingschooldropout's scottish tweed raglan with deep green or dark red buttons.

Actually, the more I look at the Scottish tweed raglan, the more I remember how much I liked it when I first saw it and how I dreamed of a life we could have together. Snuggling in front of the fire, hiking in the mountains, the two of us, my sweater and me... It's love, it really is. This sweater could be the one! Time to break up with my dad's stalled Sweater of Misery so I can free up my Addis. Forward to a brighter yet more natural-colored future!

adventures in lifeguarding

Among the many things you learn as a lifeguard, number one is, you have a better body than you think you do. Seriously. Look around you. Damn, girl. Next to these people--especially the lady with the hairy chest--you are SMOKIN'. Have you been working out? Number two is, any operation that orders the lifeguard swimsuit without the built-in shelf bra because it's a few dollars cheaper is an operation owned and operated by men. And number three is, people really do not appreciate help. The Good Samaritan was lucky he didn't get punched. People would apparently rather drown than suffer the humiliation of being helped by a lifeguard. My sister Katie is working with me this summer and we've been hoarding stories of the ridiculous things people (including us) say and do. Here's a choice selection.

• Katie: Sir, I'd like you to stay behind the 5-foot line. Man: What? I can swim! All Puerto Ricans can swim! We surrounded by water!
• A man sits down on the back of an inner tube, rather than in the hole in the middle. Me: Sir, can you slide forward into the hole, please? Man: Ooooh, I think she comin' on to me!
• Someone vomits on the wave pool beach; lifeguards blow whistles and clear the pool. Me: Clear the pool, please! Stand up and walk out of the wave pool! Ma'am! Stand up and walk out of the wave pool. [Awkward pause as I realize she is still sitting in the water because she only has one leg.]
• Weird kid: This pool is soft! And comfortable!
• Different kid: Hey, is it true that if a lady is having a baby and she let go of it in the water, that it's gonna be a good swimmer? Me: It's certainly possible...
• Man with thick German accent at the top of a waterslide: Is it compulsory to scream all the way down? Me: Well, it's not compulsory, but it is strongly encouraged.